Make Every Word Count

Read the following article on how to help you write better news stories using fewer words. After you have read the article complete the practice activity below.

Reporters and editors everywhere battle and complain over length of stories. Good reporters always gather more interesting and important information than they can use in their stories. Good editors always have more good stories, photographs and graphics than they have space. With space at a premium in newspapers today, you need to make every word count in your stories. However long your editors let you write, you need to hone your ability to organize information and write tight stories that make every word count.

• Stamp out punctuation.
  Many of the best leads have one piece of punctuation, a period. Regard multiple commas or dashes as red flags. See if you can write a smoother sentence with just one comma or none. If you have lots of punctuation in the lead, read it aloud so you can hear whether it's choppy or whether it flows smoothly.
• Subtract numbers.
  If you use any numbers in your lead, their impact must be strong and their meaning and relationship must be immediately evident to an average reader. If the reader has to stop and ponder the numbers, they don't belong in the lead. (They may not even belong in the story, but in a graphic). Rarely could you justify using more than two numbers in a lead.
• Write an alternative lead.
  If your lead is longer than 20 words, write a shorter alternative lead and evaluate the two side by side. Don't accept a long lead without testing it against a shorter lead.

Keep a Sharp Focus

• Ask what the story is about.
  A tight story is not simply a short story. A tight story of any length is a story that has and keeps a clear, sharp focus. Ask yourself frequently as you gather information and as you write the story what the story is about, why a reader would want to read it. Bruce DeSilva of the Associated Press suggests asking these questions as you try to find the story's focus: Why do you care about this? Why did you want to write this story in the first place? What touches you emotionally? Who is benefiting/being harmed, making money/losing money? How are readers being affected by what you have found? What is new here?
• Write a headline.
  Writing a headline for your story might help you find your focus. Or a logo, if it's a series. Or a budget line. Whichever of these devices you use, you have to write a good one.
• Tell your story in three words.
  Bill Luening of the Kansas City Star recommends identifying your focus by boiling your story down to a three-word sentence, a noun, an active verb, and an object: "These generally emerge as themes, rather than a story focus, but they can lead to a theme statement. Maybe, if the story is a narrative, you can get them to outline the complication, development and resolution this way. The story of the Pied Piper then would be, Rats Overrun City. City Hires Ratman. Ratman Kills Rats. City Stiffs Ratman. Ratman Steals Children. Moral: Keep Your Word. Or...Flutists Kick Butt."

Allow Time to Rewrite

Much of the best work in tightening and strengthening stories comes in rewriting. Most of the tips that follow are rewriting techniques that can strengthen almost any story:

• Read aloud.
  Reading your copy aloud will help you identify the awkward phrases, obvious candidates for elimination or condensation. Reading aloud will help you identify the long sentences.
• Check each sentence.
  When you think you're done, go through sentence by sentence. In each sentence, see whether a word or phrase can be eliminated without hurting the meaning.
• Stamp out there is usages.
  Virtually every sentence that uses there with any form of the verb to be will grow stronger (and often shorter) if you rewrite without it. This usage takes the weakest verb in our language and pairs it with one of the vaguest words to create a weak, vague usage that practically robs sentences of their subjects. Avoid all forms: there is, there's, there are, there was, there were, there will be, there could have been. If you're prone to this, do a quick search for the word there when you've finished writing and fix each sentence where you commit this offense.
• Minimize it is usage.
  Again, you are combining a weak verb with a vague word, especially if it has no antecedent. Examples are it is difficult, it is easy, it is important. Say what is easy, difficult or important.
• Challenge uses of to be verbs.
  Is, are, am, was, were, been and being are weak verbs. Sometimes they are the most accurate verbs. You can't and shouldn't eliminate all uses of these verbs. But you should always challenge them. See if you can use a stronger verb. This may not save words, but it strengthens the words you use.
• Challenge all weak verbs.
  When you find weak verbs such as do, get and have, ask whether you can replace them with stronger verbs. That doesn't simply mean using a longer synonymous verb, such as obtain instead of get or possess instead of have. Ask whether you can convey the meaning of the sentence with a stronger verb. Again, you may not save words, but you strengthen the words you use, making your story feel tighter.
• Write with active verbs.
  Active verbs not only strengthen your sentences, they help shorten them. Passive verbs generally require more words. The subject of the sentence should do the action. Sometimes (especially if you spot a by in the sentence) you can just flip the sentence around: That conviction was overturned by an appeals court becomes An appeals court overturned that conviction. Other times, you have the right subject but need to choose an active verb: Democrat Mark R. Warner was declared the victor in the race for governor last night becomes Democrat Mark R. Warner won the race for governor last night.
• Replace phrases with words.
  Look at the phrases in your copy and try to find phrases that can be reduced to a single word: hardly ever becomes rarely.
• Eliminate imprecise words.
  You will very rarely find a sentence that is enhanced by the word very. For instance, the very in the preceding sentence adds nothing. Look for other imprecise words such as many and several that you can cut or replace.
• Reduce use of adverbs.
  Instead of using a verb modified with an adverb, see whether you can use a more precise verb that needs no modification: dash instead of run fast.
• Reduce attribution.
  If you know something to be true, you don't need to attribute it. Sometimes you can condense attribution with lead-ins and bullets. If the context before a quote, especially an earlier quote, makes the speaker clear, you might be able to eliminate the she said afterward.
• Avoid inflated words.
  Don't write utilize when it says nothing more than use. Don't write approximately when it says nothing more than about. Don't write purchase when it says nothing more than buy.
• Paraphrase quotes.
  Many sources speak in jargon or convoluted sentences that reporters should not quote. Be demanding of quotes. If they don't convey strong opinion or emotion, you probably can say it better (and tighter) than the speaker. If the speaker is using jargon that you wouldn't use in writing or your readers wouldn't use in conversation, paraphrase.
• Condense phrases.
  When you find a sentence that strings together several prepositional phrases or multiple clauses, consider them an invitation to tighten. Try to combine or eliminate phrases. A phrase that modifies a noun might be replaced with an adjective. Maybe you just need to break it into two or three sentences.
• Say what is, not what isn't.
  You can't always do this. Sometimes you have to say what isn't. But often you can strengthen and shorten sentences by stating what is.
• No ands or buts.
  Sometimes writers use and or but unnecessarily as transitions to start sentences. If the sentence doesn't conflict with the one before, but is inappropriate as well as unnecessary. And is frequently an unnecessary transition. By the mere fact that you're continuing, the reader knows you have more to say. The other overused words that you can cut frequently include that, the and a. Often you do need these words, but sometimes they are extraneous, such as the the and that in the previous sentence.
• Catch redundant words.
  Formerly isn't needed with past tense. Currently or now isn't needed with present tense.
• Catch redundant facts.
  Watch for times when you use quotes or examples that basically make the same point twice.
• Catch redundant setups.
  Do you set up quotes by tell the reader most of what the quote will say? This is an easy place to tighten.
• You don't have to quote everyone.
  Do your quotes help make points? Do they advance the story? If you're quoting someone just because you talked to him, cut that quote.
• What's the story about?
  When you've finished a draft, ask yourself again what the story is about. Sometimes your sense of this will improve or change as you write. Then ask yourself whether your lead reflects this current understanding of what the story is about. Then ask whether the body of the story reflects your understanding of what the story is about. If not, you must decide whether 1. You lost your focus, in which case you must rewrite the body of the story to maintain the focus established in your lead or 2. You gained a better understanding of the story as you wrote, in which case you must rewrite the lead to reflect your new understanding of the story.

Practice Activity

1. Write a 2 paragraph summary about the article. Be sure to use specific examples from the article about how you can write better, shorter stories.